Parents out of the counrty for ten days. 28 year old cool lady person taking care of me. Today I am sick. For the fourth time since school started. And I is tired.

I feel like crap, I haven't touched the computer in ten days, except to use skype to call my parents. I'm behind on all my art, roleplays, sites, everything. I have a nolstalgic feeling, too, cause I feel the great urge to go and play FFXI again, but its slightly harder than one might imaging. And *this just in* School work too, considering I missed yesterday, where we had a major math test, can collection, AND candy cane sale that I did not get to participate in.

That and I'm rather angry with my 'boyfriend' if you could call him that. Its one of those long distance dealios, and its ticking me off. I mean, he's awesome and all, but lately its like he's never around, and when he is, we don't talk about anything. We just kind of sit there and wait untill one of us has to leave. We've been 'together' 1 1/2 years plus, but he still can't talk about anything with me.

Now someone might say, 'Oh, well Nissa, why don't YOU think of things to talk to him about?' And the answer is this: I DO. I bring up topics all the time, most of which are shot down with one phrase. For Instance: 'Me: I can finally play hard songs on Guitar hero!' ' Him: Cool.' 'Me: ...Ah, well, what about you, having any luck getting to expert?' 'Him: Just a little.' I mean, what am I suposed to say to that? No matter what I say, he makes no effort to keep it up in conversation.

Not only that, but I've just discovered what a crappy family I've got. The lady I mentioned above, the house watching one, and I were talking, about her family and stuff. She has a pretty crappy father, who (Not unlike one of my other very close friends) chose his new wife over his kids. So I told her my dad was pretty much okay, except that we get into screaming fights alot. She says that its okay to get angry at one another every so often, mabye once a month, without having any problems. But here's the thing: I get into screaming fights with my father about twice a day. The big issue I have is that he goes STRAIGHT to screaming, when I do the littlest things. Like, Cleaning my room. He no longer asks me to clean my room. Ever. He just stomps into the room, yells at me to stop whatever I'm doing, and then shuts me in my room and basicly refuses to let me do anything else untill my room is perfectly clean. How this came about? Well, when I was little, I would never, ever, EVER clean my room, and my parents would HAVE to shut me in there to get me to clean it. And for alittle while, when I was 12ish, they went back to just asking me kindly. Now, a majority of the time I WOULD go up and tidy up, but If I was busy I was not going to drop everything and run upstairs to do their bidding. So after a few days, it would be neater than day one, but still not perfectly clean. So my dad would freak out and scream at me untill it was done. After awhile he just cut out the whole asking me nicely and being patient step. And while its not ALL the time, there are times when I love him more than almost anything, in general I'd avoid him if I could.

My mom IS nice. She's as sweet as a button, but she doesn't GET anything. Once I tried to explain therianthropy to her, she freaked out and accused me of joining a cult. Now, I'm more Christian that ANYONE in my family. I say my prayers every night, I don't even use the Lord's name in vain. And she, who says 'OH MY GOD!!', and sins, and does all this stuff that people SHOULDN'T do, accuses ME of joining a cult. Its quite ridiculous. But other than that...I can't complain, I got by with a pretty decent mother. She's always concerned with me, and I do love her to bits.

I must say I've grown to like my brother more since he's left for college, but I always knew that would happen. Now, he's actually pretty cool.

In truth, my family isn't anywhere as bad as my house watcher's is, or even one of my really close friends, who had a similar situation. But I kind of realised today that my nuclear family isn't the happy, joyous ball of love I'd like to think it was. My Aunts and uncles and Cousins and stuff, though, are the coolest ever, and deserve all the love and blessings in the world.

Although I must admit I'm quite miserable right now, its most likely cause I'm tired and sick and I feel all together alone. (Which is rather stupid, considering I have the greatest friends in the world, a halfway decent nuclear family, and an awesome extended one. And a boyfriend who, while he can't hold up a decent conversation, is still really, really awesome.) I hope you guys can forgive me for being gone so long, and also that you can forgive me for shoving my personal issues on you so randomly. But really, ranting like this HAS helped, and I do feel a bit better now.

I'm gonna go out and drink some ginger ale, try to stay warm on the couch, and watch Animal Farm.

Thanks Guys.